In Pursuit
by Amanda Mancini
Summary: The tale of an Unspeakable, and her most recent assigment: Tracking down the most dangerous 'Mary Sue' of their time. Follow Agent Karin Airbourne through a world of the deranged Mary Sues we rarely see and try really hard not to think about, either.
1. Damn the Writer

# 

In Pursuit  
Prologue: Damn The Writers

As he walked down the busy street, the women passed him looks of interest, and he knew it. He tried as best as he could to ignore them, after all, being seventeen and looking like he was in his twenties wasn't _always _as good as you'd think it'd be. Now was one of those times. He brushed his hand through his natural blue black hair, and rubbed absentmindedly at his violet eyes.

Fortunately, there were less people in the tall white building, and virtually no muggles, as this place was hidden from them. It did run like a muggle building just in case one wandered in by mistake, or was brought here for treatment on rare occasions. He knew all about this place, having heard about it at the _last _place he went to. They couldn't help him there. He moved.

He knocked sharply on the white door as heard the voices inside hush. It opened, and he walked inside, seeing a group of people, mostly women, sitting in a circle. He looked around the room, and was met by all the exotic colored eyes, the most beautiful faces... He shook his head, and told himself to clear his head of such thoughts, because they were like him. They were tired of it. He sat down where he saw enough room, crossed his legs, and cleared his throats.

"Hi...I'm here for the.. the..."

"So are we. We understand," a girl next to him said gently. He knew it would feel better if he just got it out. He took a deep breath...

"I'm new here," he said quietly. " My name is Romeo. I'm seventeen, and I'm a _Marty Stu_." Suddenly, one of the girls across from him, the quiet and mysterious looking one, with the blond hair and eyes who changed color during different emotions (now deep blue, you know who she is) burst out crying. She wiped her tearful eyes on a lace handkerchief, smearing her mascara, as the girl next to her hugged her around the shoulders.

"Everyone, this is Anna," she said. "Anna's also new here."

"What's wrong?" Some one else, with soft golden curls and shimmering green eyes asked.

"I- I- I'm a transfer from _America_!" The girl wailed into her hanky. The others all looked at each other somberly. After all, it was common knowledge that the transfers had it the worst.

"I understand," a red head said. "I'm dating a werewolf."

"I'm the daughter of an accused murderer, only it he really isn't, oh,_ and_ I saved the world from an all holy evil using karate."

"I'm an all powerful necromancer. I'm also Voldemort's daughter," said another. The only other man... or boy, Romeo realized, as he looked closer, sneered. He was dressed incognito, but as he adjusted his sunglasses, his hood shifted and some strands of silver blonde hair fell onto his face.

"At least it's all been made up for _you_." He bore defensively at the looks he was receiving. "At least you.. at least you weren't part of _the canon. You _haven't been set up correctly, and then _massacred_ by others." His voice trembled, as one of the girls looked at him nodding.

"You can take off the glasses," she said in a misty voice. "I know who you are. You're Draco Malfoy. I... I..." She looked down at her knees. "We.. erm.. date _heavily_ in chapter 4 of that fic..." Malfoy made a strange choking noise.

"Damn those writers!" A rather busty twenty something woman with blue hair and piercing roared. "Why do they do this to us, those writers! The readers, they blame us! They insult us! _It's not like we can help it!_" The others burst into an angry chatter, but there was one who wasn't nearly as _emotional. _There she was, across the room, writing things down on a white sheet of muggle paper, and asking questions to the other... _Mary Sues. _Romeo noted with interest that she wasn't nearly as pretty as the others; her plain brown hair was up in a high ponytail, and her forehead, nose, and chin was spotted with acne. Romeo stood, then sat next to her.

"Hello," he said to her. She looked up from the paper and smiled at him. "Hi!" She said, "You alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine.. sorry, what's your name again?" he asked sheepishly.

"Amanda." She nodded and sighed.

"So," Romeo continued making conversation, "You don't look like the others here."

"No. My writer was... different... so are her Mary Sues."

"You don't mean.." Romeo felt horrible for her. "Not _Moon_, _she's _not your Writer, is she? I've heard of what _she _does to her Mary Sues, and quite frankly..."

"Oh no!" Amanda reassured, "Thank God, no. Although She is a fan of Moon..." Romeo sneered.

"What is literature coming to? As if using character as _objects, _making us so unbelievable isn't enough... but to make us like this just to make fun of us?" He shook his head sadly.

"I know," she muttered, "Sometimes I worry whyI'm not... you know... _perfect. _I wonder what The Writer has in store for me." She pointed at her nose as she spoke.

"Thankfully, I've never communicated with The Writer," Romeo said, hoping he never would. And judging by Amanda's opinion, it wouldn't be a joyous experience.

They noticed that the others had been leaving; Of course, they had to be very careful. They left one at a time, every ten minutes from different exits in the building. You can imagine how.. _overwhelming _a group of Mary Sues can be. Romeo kindly escorted Amanda out the door(which read _MSA: Mary Sues/Marty Stus Anonymous_) until they reached their parting of ways.

"So, I guess I'll see you at the next meeting, then," she said, her eyes shining brightly as she looked back up at him. She smiled and turned to leave, but Romeo held her back, leaned over and kissed her.

Now, you'd imagine a kiss between a Mary Sue and a Marty Stu to be explosive, passionate, and full of emotion. Clearly, that wasn't the case here. In fact, the only description for the kiss could be: it sucked. The fell apart clumsily, and suddenly, Romeo lost the bluish tint to his hair, and it went limp and somewhat oily, plastered to his head instead of so elegantly buoyant.

"What was _that_?!" Amanda asked, wiping her mouth. "I thought you said you were a _Marty Stu_? You know, perfect?" Romeo gasped, and looked down at himself. His clothes had become baggy, and Romeo, he realized just then, was such an _incredibly stupid name._

"Oh my god..." he said barely above a whisper upon his realization. "I'm.. I'm.. _cured!_ Thank The Writer!" He let out a loud, happy whoop, and went running down the hall in a rather foolish manner. Amanda looked after him longingly, and after a moment, ran to a window (which just happened to be there, like all things in Mary Sue fics).

Opening it, she sobbed out to the sky, "Damn you! Why? Why me?! Can't you just _cut me some slack?!_" An echoing, somewhat nasal voice answered her.

"It wasn't meant to be."

"But what _is_? Why must I look as _ugly as you _but still be a Mary Sue? Why can't you just _leave me alone._" From the silence that followed, she knew she'd gone too far; Never insult The Writer. Amanda shut the window closed, and walked out into the street, wondering what The Writer would make her do next. 


	2. Identifying Mark

# 

In Pursuit  
Chapter 1: Identifying Mark

Dr. Karin Airbourne sat in a normal, white office that overlooked a busy boulevard on London. She wore normal clothes, and had normal books (well, if you could call psychology books normal) on a normal bookshelf, but the facts remained the same: Dr. Karin Airbourne was _not _a doctor. Nor was she normal, but far from it. She was a witch, and a very special one at that. Agent Airbourse was an Unspeakable, who did undercover work for the Ministry. She was there tracking a certain someone by the name of Amanda Mancini, that is, if she was still using that name. But there was only one name for _that _type: Mary Sue.

In fact, Karin Airbourne knew very little about why she had been sent on this mission, but knew all she needed about Mary Sues. No one knew where the title had come from, it had just always ben there. She'd learned that they were all beautiful, they were all popular... They were perfect, making them utter freaks and menaces to society: seducing the opposite sex, using their great (yet unnatural) powers for reasons beyond comprehension... She knew they hung out constantly in their regular hotspots: clubs, raves, dances, places populated by celebrities, you know the drill. It had been confirmed that it was indeed a girl they were looking for (_A mere girl? _Karin had thought,) though no other real information had been given.

The Ministry's only source had been a greasy teen who had said over and over that Mancini was his 'saviour'. Ministry Officials had concluded that they had a code three Mary Sue (telepathic/hypnotic abilities). The boy was admitted to a 'special center' where he could get help and recover from the attack. Victims tended to go into a sort of high for a few hours after they came into contact with their attacker,only to fall into a severe depression afterwards. Sometimes they went insane. Unfortunately, it seemed the witness was one of the more severe cases, he'd been kicking and yelling '_They couldn't help me! She did! Thank The Writer!.._' Karin shook her head sadly, as the poor thing rambled on about the Mary Sue cult god. The poor boy probably wouldn't make it. It reminded her of a vampire case they'd had many years back, where it'd never finish off it's victims. The vampire would just visit them often enough to keep them in a weak, maniputable state. But then again, comparing a vampire to a Mary Sue was ludicrous.

Or was it? They had no idea what they were up against.

"Just track it down," the cheif, Thomas Quicksilver, had told her. That was all she had been willing to do.

Now she was disguised as a psychiatric doctor, on the look for infected muggles so they could recieve help, and have their memory modified. Theer had been very few who had even come to the office, and none of them had been under the influence of a Mary Sue.

"What an outdated mission post," Karin thought while listening him rant unendingly about his wife.

Not long after, about 5:30, she looked the doors and dissaparated from her muggle office to her ministry one. Now, the office of an Unspeakable is different from that of _other _ministry members. Unspeakables didn't have any other immediate family. That was so they wouldn't hurt anyone if they were killed on a mission. She walked through a door that connected her office to her bedroom. But not before picking up the envelope from her desk. Sitting on her bed, she ripped it open and and sighed heavily as she read it. It was yet another assignment, along with her post as a shrink.

The Raving Loon was one of the most popular clubs in London. It was known for it's bi-annual twenty four hour raves that took place in the spring, and in the fall. Thankfully, the spring fest had just passed and Karin _wouldn't _have to attend. Unfortunately, she'd have to hang around the pub for that Mary Sue.

_Sure,_ she thought. _Like that's going to work._

After a short nap, a shower, and having thoroughly dissected her closet, she finally found a dress and a pair of shoes that would be _suitable_ for a club. Normally, being young and single as she was, she would have enjoyed partying and wearing tight imitation snakeskin. Now definetly wasn't one of those times, but work came before play, and Karin didn't have many choices.

Besides, the party scene hadn't been _that _horrible. Sure, she'd danced enough to make her regret wearing those heels, but it had been unsuccesfull. She hadn't seen any busty femmes surrounded by men who were chatting her up. There hadn't been any stunningly beautiful women at all. . She left at midnight, feeling dissapointed.

Or was she relieved? Afterall, did she _really_ want to deal with a freak so... freaky that the _Ministry _was after her? Snort. No.

But Karin Airbourne always hated it when she spoke too soon. While walking through an alley that would have brought her to a safe place to dissaparate, one couldn't help but notice the rather _obvious_ young couple that were snogging heavily up against the wall. Karin realized she must have been staring, because suddenly the man sharply turned his head and told her off. His lady-friend gigged and shushed him. Karin winced and kept walking.

"Stop Siri," she unintentionally heard the girl laugh, "The sun'll be up soon. We've been out way too late."

Karin snorted, and tried not to laugh. Maybe it was true that blonds were just naturally dumber... or maybe it was just that man's personal preference to have his women not too bright. Karin wasn't sure what exactly what was going in _that _woman's head, but it was obviously wasn't much. She had left the pub at 12:00, and it was no later then 12:10.

Then again, maybe they'd been using those illegal muggle drugs...

Karin almost had a heart attack when she looked down at her watch and saw it was quarter to six a.m. Even the eastern side of the sky was beginning to turn yellowy orange. Karin quickly pressed her back against to the walls of the alley, hiding in the shadows, pushing the woman's school-girl giggles out of her mind as she thought the situation through.

Anyone else would have thought they'd lost track of time, or maybe that they'd have gone loony. Maybe some would have gone so far to blame it on faulty time travel. But Agent Karin Airbourne wasn't just 'anyone else'. She was a trained Unspeakable. The strange effect wasn't caused by mental problems, time travel, or even global warming (as it seemed that most muggles blamed weather problems on it.) No, the woman was a Mary Sue. The blonde hair, the blue eyes, that _annoying attempt at an alluring giggle: _it was a shame she didn't realise it sooner. The sunrise confirmed it. Not just any sunrise, a plot hole. Karin knew she had to take action before that man found himself too deep...

Taking a deep breath, she strode proffesionally towards them, ignoring the angry look that the dark haired man was giving her.

"Do you _mind_?" He emphasized nastily.

"Identification please," Karin answered simply.

"Why should we show you?" He spat back, and trying to hide her annoyance, she pulled out a piece of parchment and her wand.

"_Identify" _The man's eyes widened in surprise. He had obviously not realized that she was a witch. Meanwhile, she pressed her wand against the parchment. Immediately, writing began to appear in mauve ink as if it was being written by an invisible quill... And on it, faulty informations were provided, which of course, was the privilege of being an Unspeakable.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you were an Auror too..." He said sheepishly as he nodded to his woman and they both pulled out their wands and identified themselves. Sirius Black and Madison Hatter, both Aurors. "But want do you want with us? Maddy and I, we have't done anything wrong."

However, Karen hadn't been listening. She'd been skimming over the 'identifying marks' section of their profiles. Now, she wasn't able to tell if Black had a tatoo of the Canis Major constellation on the back of his shoulder, but he definetly didn't have a 'deadened, hollow look' in his eyes. An alarm was sounding inside her brain when Karin read that Hatter had a 'heart shaped birthmark' above her (pierced) navel.

"I need see your abdomen," she said, folding the parchment and putting it back into her purse.

"_What?!_" The woman answered in disgusted surprise.

"For identification purposes. Your belly button." Looking violated, 'Maddy' Hatter lifted the stomach of her shirt , and there it was. The mark of the Mary Sue, and that was all she needed to know.

"That will be all," The agent said, lifting her chin in superiority and pulling out her wand. "Mary Sue, you are now under arrest."

"NO!" Black hollered. "You can't!! You've got the wrong person! Her name is Madison Hatter, not this Mary Sue broad-" He didn't finish, because before he saw it coming, he'd fallen on the floor and hit by a full-body-bind. Hatter's reaction, however, was a very different one. She had turned bright scarlet with anger.

"Why," she began in a slow, menacing tone, "does everyone say I'm a Mary Sue? Just because I'm _pretty _you accuse me of being _unnatural_? You know what?" The madwoman began to advance. "My life _isn't _perfect. My family all hated me, and used to _hurt _me. They died and as an aorphan I had to live with Lily-"

Thud.

Tied up and unconcious on the floor was how Karin Airbourne like her Mary Sues best. Karin turned around and walked towards Sirius Black, who was looking up at her paralysed and horrified.

"I'm very sorry to have to do this," she put gently, raising her wand. "but your girlfriend, I'm afraid, wasn't even human. She was a Mary Sue, an evil creature that lures men in and.. then.. well... " She drifted off. "Well, no one was ever sane enough to give reliable information after their encounter. _Finite Incantem_." The effect of the body bind curse fell away, and Black gasped as Airbourne pointed her wand at him. "_Obliviate._"

The man's eyes glazed over, and she made her way back to the creature, pulling out a compact mirror from her purse. As she opened it, the visage of a burly looking man appeared where her reflection should have been. "Quicksilver, I got one."

"Is it hers?"

"No, but one just the same. She could be useful for information. Come pick her up. "

"On our way." With that, she snapped the mirror shut and put it away. After she dragged the unconcious she-thing to the side of the alley, she noticed that her companion, Sirius Black, had dissapeared. It surprised her, afterall, they tended to be a bit baffled after they'd had their memory wiped. He should have been able to leave so quickly in that amount of time.

Karin knew of all the country's Aurors. It was a requirement for her proffesion. She didn't remember anything about a Sirius Black.... She made a mental note to herself to check his records and NOT to let anything about him slip to the cheif. 


	3. 'Take Me to Your Writer'

# 

Chapter 2: "Take Me to Your Writer"

_Dedicated to Child of Shadows, the most avid reviewer of them all._

It wasn't a long wait for the Ministry to show, and the miserable creature was sobbing so uncontrollably that she was barely able to take three steps away by herself. How utterly pathetic. However, Airbourne had refrained from saying anything about that strange man, Sirius Black. What he had to do with a Mary Sue and why he wanted to protect her, Karin didn't know, but she was going to find out _without_ the help of some meddling supervisor.

Now in the Ministry, very few of the workers had access to the records, but this was another privilege of being an Unspeakable. Every single person in England, or who had ever crossed it's borders physically or through magic, had their own record where all their important details were recorded and constantly updated automatically. Some of them were hours in length. Karin pulled open the filing cabinet drawer waringly, and cringed at the noise that suddenly burst from it.

"I _hate _records," she scowled to herself while browsing through the 'B' section. "How old fashioned. We really should upgrade to CDs."

Three anti-migraine charms later, Karin finally found the record labeled 'Sirius Black' and shut the drawer. Ears ringing, she placed the record on the phonograph and placed the pin. A voice sounded from the disc, identical to Black's.

"Sirius Black, aged 20, went on a date with Madison 'Maddy' Hatter on May 4th, 1980 to a club in London called 'The Raving Loon"... it went on, describing his looks and even how Karin had questioned him.

But then it stopped.

It didn't make any sense at all! It wasn't 1980, that was most definetly not when it had happened! It was 2001.. but the records NEVER made mistakes... And no date of birth? No death? He couldn't have just appeared out of nowhere. She put everything away, feeling even more confused then she had before.

***

"You rang?" Karin asked sarcastically as she entered the lab, pulled on a white lab coat, and tightened her bun. Thomas Quicksilver gave her a stern look, as he brushed some of his graying hair away from his eyes.

"This is serious, Airbourne," he sighed as she rolled her eyes at him. "Come now, you're not a child. This is Monsieur Christiophe Savant, one of our connections from France. He's been studying... it." The man, who did seem to have a French look about him, sort of dark and handsome with black thick eyebrows. Karin laughed to herself, wondering how anyone would work voluntarily on Mary Sues.

"Ze Mary Sue is razzer calm conzidering ze tings zat 'ave 'appened," he said with an accent so strong that it took a while for the meaning to sink in.

"I assumed you'd want to question her, Airbourne." Quicksilver suggested.

"I do," she answered, and the chief motioned for her to follow him. Not even a few yards away, he stopped in front of a steel door. "Due to special precautions, it won't be able to do anything magical in there."

"How's that?" she asked, unsure.

"Aconite," he continued, and then began elaborating when he saw the blank look on her face. "It's a type of rock that limits the magical ability of particularly strong magical beings...."

"Why haven't I heard of it? It must be useful..."

"Nah," Quicksilver brushed away the idea with the wave of his hand. " We like keeping it quiet. There was problem a few years back, and some Dark Wizards got a hold of summa the stuff. There was a whole fight and confusion.. and well, the Ministry didn't wipe the memories properly. After _that _those muggles began going on about some 'superman' and 'kryptonite'. Loads of rubbish."

"Oh... yes.." Karin agreed, those words ringing a bell. "Well, Thomas. I'll go in now. Lock the door behind me." He nodded and she swooped in for the kill. Already she had the questions forming in her mind.

Karin heard the door click behind her, and turned to face that was sitting in the far corner of the room. Her face no longer held the mask of cuteness and adorability. Her eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them. She called out in a raspy voice,

"What do you want?"

"You're going to answer a few of my questions," Karin answered solemnly. "How many have you gotten?"

""What?"

"How many men? How many people have you played your little Mary Sue tricks on?"

"None, I-"

"Don't give me any of that. Who's Sirius Black. What happened to him?"

The Mary Sue gave a dry laugh, that is, if you could call it that. "There is no Sirius Black. He was just a gift, but he's gone now..."

"Where is he?" Karin demanded, but got no answer. "Where?!"

"You can't keep me here," Hatter said after a moment, her voice quavering. "I'll get out..."

"And how will you do that exactly?" Karin asked sarcastically. The creature answered with a faraway grin.

"The Writer always saves me. Always..."

And who's the Writer?" Karin began prompting. The Mary Sue was weak now, emotionally vulnerable.

"You'll never find her. No one can."

"Then where's Amanda Mancini?" As soon as it came out, Karin saw Hatter's grin fade and eyes widen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she answered, obviously lying.

"I want answers, Mary Sue, whether I'll go to your boss myself." Karin threatened. "Take me to your 'Writer'."

"What?!" Hatter burst out suddenly. "You think that the Writer can just answer everything? She can't you know! _Especially _not the ones by Amanda Mancini!"

"She?... Wait, why the hell not?!"

"Because _my _Writer isn't _hers_! She's _MINE_!" Hatter retorted, slamming her face down in her crossed arms that laid across her knees.

"Are you going to answer my questions, or am I going to have to kill you?" finalized Karin, who had enough. Slowly raising her head and staring menacingly, the Mary Sue answered in a toneless voice.

"Amanda Mancini will be coming back soon. I heard it somewhere, but I dare say we'll know when she does. I don't know anything else."

"But _why?!_" Karin hollered furiously. "You're a Mary Sue like she is! _Why don't you know?!_"

"_Because_," Hatter finished, " we don't have the _same _Writer."

"What the hell... How can you _not _have the same Writer?" The Mary Sue's grin twisted from faraway to just plain wicked.

"We do not have the same Writer," she repeated.

"_What the hell is a 'Writer'_?!"

"The Writer is our creator... she _made_ me."

"You mean God," Karin corrected.

"Not God. God made the Writer. The Writer made me, but there are many different Writers," she said sharply.

"So.. you believe in multiple Gods? Polytheism?"

"_No_, not _God_, the _Writer._"

"Right," Karin said, feeling deflated and utterly unsatisfied. Sighing, she straightened her shirt under her coat."You'll be staying here until we have further use for you, Hatter. You better think of a few better answers then that next time, or you'll find yourself in a much _rougher_ situation." The Mary Sue looked at her wide eyed as Karin used her wand to unlock the door and left.

Making sure the steel door was secured behind her, Karin Airbourne made her way back to Quicksilver and Savant who were anxiously waiting for her.

"Worthless, absolutely worthless," she growled. "Something will happen soon, but it looks like we'll have to wait..." Quicksilver sighed.

"We couldn't get a peep out of her."

"Well I'm going to keep patrolling until something turns up."

"Zen take zis vith you," Savant said, handing her what looked like to be a roll of orangish ribbon.

"Um... alright?" Karin answered, casting an unsure glance at Quicksilver.

"It's a new invention, and it's passed all the tests. It should help you in finding Mary Sues."

"What is it?"

"It eez Mary Sue Litmus Paper," Savant explained. "If zee tip turns pink it eez a Mary Sue. However, if zee tip iz only a leetle pink, then perhaps zee person is just a leetle more lucky pretty zen ozzers. If zee tip is turning red, zen ve are dealing vith a very strong Mary Sue, a _newbie_."

"A _what_?" Airbourne asked, starting to feel that these names were becoming even more perpostrous.

"Didn't you hear him?" Quicksilver asked starting to become frustrated. "A newbie. They're just stronger then regular Mary Sues. We don't know why, we don't know how, they just are. And this litmus paper will help identify them. Don't ask questions, Airbourne!"

"Fine," Karin sighed as she hung up her lab coat, and put the roll into her pocket. Nodding goodbye to her co-workers, she headed out of the building through winding halls, her head full of thoughts. That Maddy Hatter.... she had said that Amanda Mancini would be coming back soon, but from where? Where would a Mary Sue have to go, and why?A chill down her back made Karin feel she didn't want to know. 


	4. Deus Ex Machina

Chapter 3: Deus Ex Machina __

Note: This chapter could deserve a higher rating for gore, violence, and madness. Now, some of you may have been waiting for that...  
Oh, and yes, any confusion between characters because they have the same name is intentional.

For weeks, Karin continued going to the pubs, to the raves, to the dance clubs, but not once did she find another Mary Sue. Perhaps she'd been lucky when she'd found Hatter? Airbourne didn't think so. No, something was wrong, because there was no way a Mary Sue could hold themselves for so long. It seemed they were sticking a lot closer to home, wherever that was. It was quiet. Too quiet.

***

Meanwhile, far far away, things were definitely _not _quiet. Sure, it may have seemed normal at first. Amanda Mancini sat typing away at her computer, which she sometimes did hours every day. Writing, preferably Harry Potter fanfiction, was something she loved to do, and she rarely had the time.

_What a time to get writer's block. _In a vain last resort, she began playing music from a program called 'Napster' and spun around in her chair, hoping for inspiration. But still nothing came, it was just one of those days.

_How strange, _she thought again. Before, she had been so gung-ho about writing that chapter, just because the perspective would be so different. Why would she blank out, now of all times? The blue-eyed brunette heaved a sigh as she heard front door open and close. It seemed that her mother had come back with enough groceries to stock their family for a while.

But things aren't always as they seem, and what Amanda Mancini saw at the front door was most certainly _not_ her mother.

It was Amanda Mancini.

"You!" Amanda cried in surprise, actually recognizing the strange intruder who looked... well, who looked a lot like a beautified version of herself. Deep and mystifying blue eyes glared back at her.

"Is there something wrong, Morgana le Fay? Oh wait, is it Amanda now? Decided a pen name wasn't good enough – you had to use your _real_ name?" she asked as entered closed the door behind her. "What's the matter? Never expected one of your characters to arrive on your doorstep?" The Mary Sue gave a sadistic grin.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," the Writer answered faintly. "I-I was going to write this part. You- you- you're not real! You can't be here!"

"Oh, can't I?" Amanda began her way down the stairs, locking the front door behind her.

"No..." The other Amanda stumbled backwards, and ran further into the basement. The Mary Sue just clucked her tongue and continued forwards.

"You can run but you can't hide," she laughed, and then on a second thought- "Actually, you can't run either." Taking a quick look around, and grinning from ear to ear as she did, the Mary Sue ran to the basement bathroom where she found the young Writer crouching on the counter, trying to pry open the window. "Oh come now," Amanda (the Mary Sue) laughed, pointing her wand, and the hysterical girl before her began levitating away from her only hope of escape. "It's not the time, m'dear."

"Please, no... no..." Amanda, the Writer, sobbed. "Why? Why?"

"Why?!" Amanda, the Mary Sue, asked ferociously as she magically threw her writer against the wall. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" The madwoman continued with a sinister laugh. "You are _so_ stupid! Obviously, you Writers aren't too bright. How much intelligence does one need to know NOT to make their characters all powerful? I mean, if they were all powerful, would they do something like... oh I don't know... LIVE?! Didn't you think that maybe they'd actually _use _all that power?"

"You _can't_!" Amanda hollered tearfully, her back pinned against the wall. " You're not real!"

"That is obviously not the case!" Amanda shouted back at her, grabbing her arm and twisting it sharply until the girl screamed. "Did that feel like it was just a story? Did it? I don't think so." She stopped for a moment, and smiled at her prey. "Be proud of me, Amanda. You tried so hard to make a self-insertion into the Wizarding World, only without actually being accused of being a Mary Sue. I could have been named 'Purity Malfoy' or 'Filia Astrum Black', but no. You couldn't make me Lucius' sister or Sirius Black's daughter because you would have been _flamed_. No, instead you gave me the last name in the world you would have chosen for yourself. The one that was _chosen for you_. Amanda Mancini." She sneered as she began pacing.

"For a while, I hated my life, dear writer. I hated you, and the way you tried to please all the others... You were such an amateur. Your stories were worthless. You couldn't even develop me to be the type of person you wanted to be. You didn't. I made myself, and I'm just as evil, just as wicked as you would have liked to be." She laughed and spat on the floor. "You disgust me. A Writer that can't even control their own character... To think that most original characters actually look _up _to their Wri-"

"No, it can't be... You're only a story..." Amanda whimpered weakly, with her eyes closed tight. However, it looked like she was only trying to convince herself that...

Suddenly, the Mary Sue was overcome with a wave of dizziness and crumpled to the floor. Amanda knew that even if she said The Writer had no power, that she was only deluding herself. The Writer always had power... It was just a matter of whether or not she used it...

"I am _not _just a story," the Mary Sue said steadily as she pulled herself up to her full height. "Not when you think of something day and night, when you spend over year continually pondering and planning plot-schemes and characterization details, when you spend _more time fantasizing about your made-up world than actually focusing on your real one_. No, suddenly it becomes _much more _than _just a story._" Amanda franticly wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face as she begged Amanda to stop coming closer, but to no avail.

Amanda just smirked menacingly at her. "Oh no you don't. Let me tell you something, _Writer. _All this time you've been _working_ on me, _your perfect little creation_, pouring in so much thought and consideration. It seems you've just poured in_ a little too much_." 

Thunder roared and lightning flashed, illuminating the excitement in Amanda's eyes as she threw back her head and cackled. Regardless that it had been mid-afternoon only moments before, it had seemingly in an instant become a night sky that had clouded over and turned into a raging thunderstorm!

__

But that's impossible?! Amanda thought to herself as she cowered on the floor. _Things like this never happen - they can't! Not in real life! No... _she realized. It was the kind of thing that happened only.... 

Only in pathetic fanfics filled with gaping plot holes written by authors that had no talent or skill in the English language whatsoever! Definitely not the kind of writing _she _did. Of course not! She was an amazing, _exceptional_ wri-

With a shriek of maddened joy, Amanda pulled a giant opal encrusted machete from out of nowhere. And by out of nowhere, I mean that literally. She didn't even have a sheath or anything, it just kind of appeared out of thin air. 

Just like in those Mary Sue fanfics that she loved to criticize in her LiveJournal review column! she realised. "Nooooooo!" she cried out in complete and total fear, as the lighting reflected off of the silver blade.

"Oh- YES!" Amanda answered her, her face radiating with excitement. Oh, she'd been waiting this for a long time! She'd been planning it secretly for so long and now it was finally going to be put into action!

But wait! Freeze-frame for a moment… Can a character-particularly a Mary Sue- really come up with an idea that the Writer hadn't pre-conceived? Amanda frowned a moment. It's true- hadn't her Writer even admitted about how she was just going to write this part? Had the Writer actually _planned_ on being attacked? _No, surely not_, Amanda thought. Afterall, Amanda hadn't even been able to grasp that her Mary Sue had come alive, let alone hurt her. It didn't make sense at all – it was far too confusing and surely reviewers were going to flame it.

No, wait! What _reviewers_? This hasn't been _written_! The Writer was occupied the whole time- fighting for her _life_, remember?! No matter. It's a plot-hole, Amanda decided finally, a Mary Sue way of life.

With that final thought, the scene resumed, Amanda raised the great, big, wicked cool knife-thing above her head and laughed cruelly, eyes glinting with something her Writer recognised all too well. Amanda screamed in terror as the blade came rushing down.

***

_January 30th, 2004: Thanks to everyone who's still following this story ~ it's been occupying my mind forever. I started it years ago and somewhere along the line stopped writing it due to a loss of inspiration. I recently posted it on FA to get myself going again, and here's the newest installment. I hope you'll all keep following even though I'm such a slow writer, and even though it's not my usual angst-ridden work. For those of you who didn't know, my second pen name used to be Morgana le Fay. I now use my real name with my fiction so I feel like I get proper credit for my work. It also makes it more personal to receive reviews, which I like. _

Moon was an author at Fanfiction.net. I don't know if she's still writing or if her work is still even up. She did a couple of MS parodies that I enjoyed greatly. You cannot believe how ecstatic I was when she actually positively reviewed this fic.

Mary Sue Litmus Paper actually exists - it's a quiz for your fiction characters. I, personally, find it inaccurate and insulting to all fanfic authors, but whatever. 


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